“Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear.”
“So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.”
“The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.”
“Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced.”
“I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.”
“And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.”
“It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.”
“As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.”
“You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.”
“Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.”
“I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.”
“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.”
“I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.”