“I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way.”
“The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't.”
“When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.”
“A young imagination is bold, likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to, well, imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur that the computer mouse is a hotrod that the box is a cave that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something.”
“I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation.”
“Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now.”
“I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies.”
“It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears.”
“One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that.”
“Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.”
“I love the excess of Christmas. The shopping season that begins in September, the bad pop star recordings of Christmas carols, the decorations that don't know when to come down.”