“I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.”
“Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.”
“Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.”
“People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.”
“Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.”
“It is tragic that people who are incarcerated are unable to vote. They are probably the most important voices to listen to because they can tell us what we need to change.”
“Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.”
“I'm taking a lot of my favorite artists, different people, my favorite music and marrying that with what I do as a comic. It's very collaborative, arty, fun and cool.”
“I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.”
“My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.”
“Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.”
“Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.”
“I can't drag myself away from 'Final Cut Pro.' It is a digital video editing system. I am obsessed with it, but I am always away from home, and I can't use it.”
“Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.”
“It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.”
“Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is.”
“The power of visibility can never be underestimated.”
“Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.”
“I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.”
“Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!”
“We women are constantly at war with our bodies, it is hard to find amnesty for ourselves.”
“Why can't all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can't we can't we all be considered possible love interests?”
“It's very hard for a woman in comedy. It's hard for women to be bold and not care what anyone, particularly men, think. Maybe that is why so many women comics are lesbians.”