“There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.”
“Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.”
“Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.”
“A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.”
“A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.”
“Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.”
“Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.”
“Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.”
“One man's folly is another man's wife.”
“Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.”
“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.”
“The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.”
“Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.”
“A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.”
“It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying it's separating himself from all the others.”
“In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.”
“After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.”
“A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.”
“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.”
“After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.”
“Love, the quest marriage, the conquest divorce, the inquest.”
“Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.”
“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.”
“Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.”
“A fool and her money are soon courted.”
“Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.”
“Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.”
“Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.”
“Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.”
“And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.”
“When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”