“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”
“At my age flowers scare me.”
“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”
“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”
“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”
“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”
“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”
“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”