“Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?”
“I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.”
“It's never occurred to me to worry about my health, or that I'll get old, or that people will stop laughing at me.”
“I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.”