“The law does not pretend to punish everything that is dishonest. That would seriously interfere with business.”
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
“The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice.”
“You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom.”
“History repeats itself, and that's one of the things that's wrong with history.”
“Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away.”
“The trouble with law is lawyers.”
“I am an agnostic I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.”
“I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.”
“True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.”
“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President I'm beginning to believe it.”
“If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think.”
“Some of you say religion makes people happy. So does laughing gas.”
“Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat tails.”
“The pursuit of truth will set you free even if you never catch up with it.”